Maternity Pictures

These pictures were taken by Nicole Hoefer Photography out of Redwood City, California. We think she did an EXCELLENT job ... if you're interested in connecting with her to help you with your family photography needs - go ahead and reach out to her!

Nicole Hoefer: 650-302-6191 or nicole@daniente.com

And now for the fun .... (these were taken at 29 1/2 weeks!)

Belly pics from our anniversary

People seem to LOVE pictures ... so I thought I'd share some belly pics from the other night. This is me 29 1/2 weeks pregnant - the night of our anniversary dinner out.

Now mind you that it was a Monday night and the eve of a much anticipated frightening storm front. Upon seating us, the hostess said "I'm so proud of you for getting out at this stage of your pregnancy." And I responded with "you mean the very beginning of my third trimester with 11 more weeks to go?" ... I think she back peddled by telling me it looked like I could already be uncomfortable.

The front view:
The back view: (cute dress huh?)


There it is ... the "yep, she's pregnant" view ...


And in case you weren't sure ... we've spelled it out for you ...
Yes, I'm large.

I do get asked all the time "are you sure that you're not having twins?" ... this question should offend me because really, they are implying that I'm extra big, but instead I'm gleeful and giddy - I love having a pregnant belly, I love that it's huge!

Pregnancy and infant loss awareness day

Today, October 15th is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.

If you have lost a baby or babies ... my heart goes out to you, I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you right now. If you lit a candle for your lost little ones, know that you are not alone in your pain. Know that grief and heartache do not have a time schedule that other people dictate. Grief and loss are very complex and painful. I hope you were able to surround yourself with people who love and support you - I hope you got the hugs you needed today.

If you have not lost any babies ... maybe, tonight ... give the little ones that you do have an extra big hug and thank God for them - they are truly a miracle. And if you know anyone who has lost a precious baby - let them know that you think about them and their lost little ones.

Missing our babies today:
August 2006
February 2007
September 2007
January 2008

Lift a glass ...

Today marks 8 years of marriage.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this previously, but Berilac and I have not had an easy marriage - by any means. We call our first year of marriage "the meat grinder year" because there was so much difficult change going on that year. Then our second year was deemed "Berilac's take-it-in-the-chin year" ... it was appropriate for the emotional beating I was giving him and no, I'm not exaggerating.

In those early years we fought against our new identities, we fought against selfishness, we fought against insecurities, we learned of many more of our own weaknesses - and the reality of that was so very intense. The best news is ... is that we surrendered that all back to God and asked Him for His blessing, wisdom, and direction in each area ... and over the years each of these areas has gotten better and better. Because we had so many struggles, we were able to learn how to become a team and face these problems together. I believe that it was because of these issues and the tools we learned to overcome them ... that going through the years of infertility and loss brought us closer together, rather than driving us further a part. I definitely mourn over the loss and heartache from these past three years, but I also cherish these years as an opportunity God took in breaking us down even more - drawing us closer to each other and closer to Him.

For the past three years - every holiday, every milestone was just another reminder of what we don't have, rather than what we do. Today is a milestone. A milestone very different than the milestones we've hit over the past 3 years. Today, I am so grateful to be passing this milestone with little baby Gamwich in my belly. No, we are not holding baby Gamwich in our arms, and no I'm not 100% certain that there will be a live healthy baby to take home come Christmas ... but I do have more hope than I used to have ... that it will happen ... more hope then I've ever had ... some would think this is a slam dunk - 29 1/2 weeks pregnant, all tests look good, everything progressing successfully equals live healthy baby ... but I will tell you that each day I still have to choose hope.

Although we celebrate 8 years of ups and downs, we also celebrate that today wasn't another reminder of how we don't yet have children. I think of the ladies that are still waiting and my heart breaks for them and my eyes well up with tears. I am saddened by their losses, I am brokenhearted with them. I think of how this milestone would have been like that had this little baby not been conceived and thriving in my belly.

I am celebrating 8 years, I am celebrating emotional growth and intimacy, I am immensely grateful to be celebrating today, and I'm rejoicing in a new life.

A toast ... to real life.

The highly anticipated babymoon (pic heavy)

We are living the dream! I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was, after all we've been through ... to be able to go on a vacation and sport a huge belly ... I really do count it a miracle. I am so grateful to be this pregnant and to be able to enjoy this pregnancy ...

For those that would like to see ... I've created this picture heavy post capturing our wonderful babymoon. What is a babymoon you ask? It’s your last hurrah, your last couple-only vacation before baby comes … like “honeymoon” only it’s in anticipation of baby, hence "babymoon".

For years I’ve fantasized about a babymoon and for me what defined a good babymoon was something warm and tropical, a place where I could for the first time in my life wear a bikini without fear (hence all the pics of me, it's a start to our maternity pics!). Originally I wanted to go to Hawaii, but given my near plane crash 11 years ago I’m not too fond of flying and use meds to get through most flights … given that I’m pregnant I can’t take the meds and going without would be a bad idea as it would introduce too much stress to the baby … so we opted for driving to Southern California instead. We stayed in Dana Point, the nearly furthest south beach town just above San Diego. We were there for a little over a week … I would have liked more time, but I’ll take what I can get!

We headed out the weekend of Labor Day, so in these pictures I am 24+ weeks pregnant. And, as large as it looks, the belly has grown even more since then! Enough rambling … let’s get to the pictures:




Let's start with lots of good eating ...
Then we enjoyed a whale and dolphin watching tour!

First day at the beach ...

DISNEYLAND!!!!!

Date night ... a gondola ride, a night strolling through Laguna Beach, and a night of non-hot tubbin'!

More eating at the hotel ...

First day at the pool ...

Second day at the beach ... and some surfing! (Ok, or just some posing with the board ... for me at least!)

Second day at the pool:

It was hard to say good-bye ...

The painful and scary "near fall"

I was heading into work yesterday and as I stepped through a doorway that I usually don't use, I missed the 3 inch step I needed to overcome and I tripped on it. With 8 lbs extra pregnancy weight (according to my latest appointment on Friday 8/28) taking the form of a big belly hanging over my waistband, a 10-15 lb backpack on my back, and a heavy purse in hand ... the trip was not as graceful as it could have been.

My left foot caught the 3 inch ledge and suddenly I was thrown off my center. I took a few long strides and with each step my foot slammed into the hallway floor. After two steps, I thought for sure I was recovering from the fall when I over corrected and started falling the other direction ... after a few more feet pounding strides I thought I was on the edge of correction ... and I could SWEAR I felt my heavy backpack shifting weight across my back ... and I went back the other direction a few more long strides.

By the time I came to a stop, I had NOT fallen (thank the Lord) and I had made it nearly 30 feet down the hallway ... it took nearly 30 feet for me to correct from nearly tripping, can you believe it!??!

I looked down at my foot and gracefully tried to pick up my water bottle that had flown out of my purse ... as I waited for SOMEONE to come out of their office and check to see how I was doing. Sadly, 4 office doors later ... nobody checked on that extremely loud sound I had created. I gathered my wits and proceeded to my office.

As I walked down the hall, I noticed how sore I was. I started feeling pains in my stomach, round ligament, and groin region. I made it to my office and called Berilac ... I was pretty rattled by what had just happened.

30 minutes later I headed into a meeting where I got to sit for an hour and a half with my feet propped up and all seemed to be going fine ... the meeting ended and then I stood up. Can you say "ouch?"

The pain and soreness radiated through my body. I could hardly walk. I slowly took my old man walk up to my office and emailed my doctor. An hour later, no response and it was lunch time. By 1PM I called the office and learned that the doctor's lunch hours extended another half hour. At that point, I was in so much pain, I decided to head home. I got one office mate to fetch my car and another carried my stuff out to my awaiting car. On the way to the car the doctor called and said she thinks everything is fine but for peace of mind I should come in.

I arrived to the doctor's office 7 minutes later. They quickly escorted me in to the exam room and prepped me for a pelvic exam. Before she jumped in - she checked the baby's heartbeat with a doppler - but I knew all was fine, as I'd felt kicking ever since the incident. So there I sat awaiting my first pelvic exam in the pregnancy (I was too scared to have one early on). The doctor indicated that my cervix was soft and she was a tad concerned. I reminded her that three weeks prior my cervical length was 5cm and she confirmed that with my most recent ultrasound results. I asked her if she was planning on doing an ultrasound to check for cervical length and she said she would. She rolled in the ultrasound machine and used the vaginal probe to take a peak at the cervix. She was unable to get a good view of the cervix and because of that she ordered a STAT cervical measurement downstairs in Radiology.

It was at this point that I really started to sweat things. The doctor indicated that she wasn't overly concerned, but she wanted me to be able to head home for the afternoon with some peace of mind. I called Berilac and asked him to come to the clinic - up to this point I could handle the appointment all on my own.

I ended up having to wait an hour for the appointment, 55 minutes awaiting Berilac's arrival. I tried to lay down in Radiology's lobby ... just in case my cervix was shortening. But because I was in a chair, my slumping wasn't proving that useful, or comfortable for that matter - with the earlier painful "near fall" incident earlier in the day.

As I sat in the lobby, so many thoughts went through my mind. At one point tears were in my eyes as I thought about how I wouldn't forgive myself if something I did (like nearly tripping over my own foot) caused the loss of my baby. Looking back now, and of course with some perspective I *know* that if something had happened it wouldn't have been my fault ... but I guess that's where my baggage and issues come into play. I prayed that God would give me some peace about the next few hours and I thought about the likely best and worst case scenarios. I remembered back to the pelvic exam and how the doctor mentioned that I wasn't dialated at all ... I knew that was really good news in the face of potential early delivery. I remembered that this Friday we will hit 24 weeks (viability) and that I've had many friends who've caught a shortening cervix to go on to bed rest, emergency cerclage, and pretty strong anti contraction drugs to avoid early labor. I remembered that I haven't even started having braxton hicks contractions yet ... so surely I haven't started real contractions.

Within minutes of Berilac's arrival we were escorted to the ultrasound room. The tech reminded us that we could not receive news good or bad from her, but that we'd have to wait until the doctor contacted us. I did confirm with her what our OB had said: "if there's something concerning - they will send you back up to OB/GYN, if it's all fine - they will send you home" ... she said that was true and proceeded to take a peak inside my belly.

As the ultrasound went on, and I waited there in the dark, with this technician wanding my stomach ... I prayed that our baby would be safe and sound inside my womb. The technician asked if she could take some pictures of the baby for us to take home and my heart lightened up a bit ... she almost gave away the gender, but didn't. She showed us the face of the baby ... which looked almost 3D ... little Baby Gamwich looked so cute.

She finished the ultrasound and said that she needed the Radiologist to confirm her findings. Minutes later she returned telling us we could head home. Shortly after we left my OB called and left a message indicating that my cervix hasn't changed over the past three weeks: still 5cm, still closed, still no funneling ... I took a deep breath.

I've spent the last day and a half hobbling around like an old man as the jarring from my "near fall" really bounced that belly around. My ligaments are sore, my muscles are sore ... it just hurts to walk. So I've been sitting reclined since yesterday afternoon ... working, and being very grateful that all is well and that I can still feel little Baby Gamwich safe and sound in there ... as usual, kicking up a storm.

Thank you Lord for keeping our little baby safe ... and thank you that I didn't actually fall on my stomach in my incident yesterday morning ... it could have been so much worse - so thank you for protecting us.

Results of our 20 week ultrasound

I am so excited to report that our 20 week ultrasound went GREAT!

When we first arrived the sonographer told me that she'd do 30-45 mins of measurements where she'd just be taking notes, but at that point we could look around for vanity's sake. She gelled me up and we jumped right in. It was last Monday and the weather was quite warm, so my clothes were thin and sparse but the AC was blazing. It wouldn't have been so chilly in there except that I had consumed 20 oz of ice cold water to fill my bladder just prior to the appointment (I don't believe in drinking an hour before hand - no pain for me, thank you!) ... so I was stretched out on the table, in summer clothes, with cold gel slathered all over me, AC blasting right on me, with cold liquid running through my body ... and I was shivering! Though I'm not entirely sure it was just the elements, I was quite scared too.

I finally asked the sonographer if she wouldn't mind confirming a heartbeat for me and she looked surprised. I told her this was our fifth pregnancy, but our first live child (that's how I answer people now-a-days when they ask me if this is my first) so she quickly confirmed the heartbeat and asked if I could feel the baby kicking on a regular basis. As you know, I can, but there's still a part of me that gets scared that somehow the baby might have died between the last kick and when the ultrasound wand was placed on my tummy :-(

As she took her million measurements she kept placing the wand quite high on my stomach, I finally asked her "is there uterus and baby up that high?" ... she told me that my uterus ended 1 1/2 inches above my belly button and I was SHOCKED! I had heard that at 20 weeks it should be AT your belly button ... but I guess the location of a belly button ... is relative ;-) While she glided the wand over my tummy I broke out in only a few chuckles - heck, I'm ticklish! Then she had me turn on my side and I'm not kidding you - my uterus is all the way on my SIDE! When I shared my surprised the sonographer laughed and said, "well what do you think is filling up this stomach of yours?" ... so I guess it's the uterus and the baby! While I was "quietly" waiting for her to complete her measurements I mentioned: "I know you're not supposed to give me the results, but can you just tell me if you will be looking into my cervical length, amniotic fluid level, number of umbilical cord arteries, and placental location?" ... she looked at me in shock again and asked how far along my previous losses were - she was concerned I had reason to worry about all of these things most pregnant women don't even know exist. I confirmed for her that they were all early first trimester losses - but you learn a lot of scary things the years you are waiting to successfully conceive. She let me know that she'd be taking down all that information. I was relieved. I guess I was so relieved that I relaxed a bit and fell asleep! That was nice.

When we were done taking the required medical measurements, I asked to go to the restroom and upon return we would look at the fun stuff!

The baby cooperated the entire time! The sonographer said that she got a clear shot of the goods and just when you'd think that we'd ask her if she saw the pork and the beans ... we told her that we aren't finding out gender until the delivery day! However, we did ask her to write the gender down for us, in a sealed envelope, so that we'd have it in case something were to come up before the baby is due. It's morbid, I know, but I think about a family member lying on their death bed, at least we'd be able to share the gender and the baby's name with them before they go ... I guess I've always been a planner. And you'd think, with the information in an envelope, right inside our house (!!) (no, I won't tell it's location!) that we'd be tempted to rip it open and find out ... but we are excited that we'll have EXTRA motivation for delivery day. Right now, the only people that know what gender our baby is are: the sonographer, the paper greeting card, and the good Lord Himself! (but it was never a surprise to Him! ;-)

Regardless of that anti-climactic decision ... we still got our chance to poke around and see the baby's head, heart, stomach, face ... you name it! Some of the cooler things were: watching the baby gulp and swallow! (the sonographer said that that shows great lung development - exactly what you want to see at this stage!) and we saw five fingers on each hand! We tried to look for five toes on each foot, but when she went down to get a picture of the cute little feetsies, the baby wouldn't stop kicking!! It was ... too cute. Flicker is just as stubborn as her mother ;-)

Without further adieu (for those of you still faithfully reading) the actual test results:

Cervical length: 5 cm with NO funneling ... WOO HOOO!!!

Placental location: Fundal ... YIPPEE!!!

Umbilical artery count: Three! .... PEFECT!!!

Amniotic fluid level: "grossly normal" ... DOES IT GET ANY BETTER???

And the pregnancy is at 20 weeks and 3 days, with the baby measuring 21 weeks! The OB has yet to modify the due date ... so we'll hang off on changing that. The baby was measuring big on all fronts: femur, cranial, abdominal, etc. One measurement even came out at nearly 23 weeks! Hmmmm ... Berilac is 6'3'' and I weighed 9 1/2 lbs at birth ... should I start to worry yet about having a large baby? ... I'm actually quite enjoying our good news ... so I won't worry ... just yet.

And lastly, here's an adorable picture of our 6 1/2 inch Flicker:

We are praising the Lord for this healthy baby!