Saturday, December 11, 2010

Enjoying Denver

Yes, that's a big rib bone he's gnawing on :-)

We're all in Denver now - me, Berilac, Dru, MIL and FIL. We again are staying at the same great place we stayed last cycle. We have some generous friends and for that we are so grateful. Last night, when everyone finally arrived, we went out to dinner at TG.I Fr.iday's and Dru had his first baby back rib - I guess it's confirmed, our egg and sperm were not swapped out last April in the lab ... yep, he's ours!

This trip has been generally unremarkable. We've spent the majority of our time working remotely and watching Dru push all sorts of fun toys around. Though today at the Den.ver Chil.dren's museum he took 3 steps - he's well on his way to walking! I think he'll be walking before his first birthday next week and before we return home.

In between the shots, the work, chasing the wee-one, Berilac and I are trying to sneak away at each opportunity we get - to enjoy each other and enjoy being a couple. This process is so draining - we need to pour into our relationship. The best thing we can do while waiting for a child is to build a strong family to bring him/her into. And I'll say that now that a child has entered the picture - nurturing the relationship has become something we need to purposefully care for.

While we're here, I'm hoping to spend some time with IRL friends and a lovely bloggy friend I have in the area - and I can't wait! I also plan on taking Dru to Mon.key buz.iness while the rest of the family hits the slopes.

This evening, we were able to have dinner with some relatives ... but because there were 5 of us squeezed into the car on the way there, Dru didn't take his 2nd nap of the day (which he usually does at home in the crib, but when out, he'll sleep in his carseat no problem!) Well, today we learned that he won't nap with a couple of too-fun people crowding his back seat! When we got to our aunt and uncle's house Dru hadn't slept for 5 hours - something he NEVER does so he was screaming (again, something he NEVER does) so poor Berilac took him out in the car/carseat in order to give him the break he needed to settle down for a quick nap - he was able to catch 45 mins of zzzz's to resume the evening with the family. Though, coming home after 8P wasn't much better - I was hoping that he'd fall asleep quickly because it was so dark and he was so tired from a full day of fun ... but no such luck. He FINALLY fell asleep 2 minutes prior to arriving home. But our star sleeper did fall right back to sleep when we took him in and put him immediately down. Note to self - take 2 cars next time!

As far as the cycle goes, it seems to be tracking just a bit behind the last cycle ... in terms of follie sizes/counts and hormone levels. At least it did after the first appointment here on Thursday. Then I had Friday off from intimate ultrasounds. Today's appointment revealed a pretty good count - maybe 4 equal size follies on the left, plus more smaller ones that likely won't catch up, and 6-7 equal size follies on the right, plus more smaller ones there too. When they called to give me my cycle instructions they told me to maintain my meds: 150iu Menopur in the morning, 300iu Follistim at night, I started Cetrotide on Thursday night ... 2 nights earlier than the protocol anticipated - which is exactly like last time. If everything stays on par with last cycle (or there abouts) I guess we'll be doing the retrieval on Thursday. We'll see ...

There are many thoughts going around inside my head about this cycle. I swing from being just completely grateful for Dru and feeling content about whatever the outcome. To being worried that Dru might not have a sibling. To being stressed out that we took all this time - away from work, from our parents, from the folks we're staying with - and all this money (need I identify just how much an IVF cycle is at CCRM? Think - the cost of a car! ... and not a sedan!) only to feel like it was a big waste. What I do know is that there's nothing I can do to make this cycle successful or not. I am not in control. So I'm trying to get prepared to just accept the outcome -whatever it may be.

Life is flying by so quickly that Berilac and I keep asking each other - can you believe we are in Denver, cycling again? It seems unreal.

I hope all this time, effort, energy, money ... isn't spent in vein. Lord we humbly continue to ask for the blessing of children.


  1. Your feelings are the same as mine were. I was fluctuating between thinking it doesn't matter, so long as we have T, and being so grateful for her, to worrying about T not having a sibling, to thinking I wasted a ton of money, to thinking, we did the right thing by rushing the cycle (considering things didn't seem to go so well out of the gate). I don't know. My hubby kept saying that you have to make decisions based on what you know at the time and this was the risk we took. So, you are doing the same it a chance. Either way, you are doing the right thing. I just hope that you are doing the right thing AND getting a beautiful sibling for Dru:-)

    He is such a handsome little guy. I snuck T a piece of baby back rib (tiny little sliver) yesterday and boy did her eyes light up!!! She's a carnivore.

    Enjoy Denver. Good luck. You guys are in my prayers!

  2. Hi Polly,

    I just wanted to wish you best of luck. I have been following your blog way before you became pregnant with Dru. I have a little girl, whi is 14 months, and she was concieved naturally despite a very very low AMH (2.2 pcmol). My AMH is now even lower (0.8PCMOl) so we are trying again, naturally for 6 moths before we think about moving to IVF. I too really really want a sibling for my little one, but I dont have that deeling of blind panic I had when I was fearful of being childless. Its a different kind of ache - more for them than me, if that makes sense. Wel,, ramble over, just wanted to let you know that I am following your story all the way from London - please keep the faith !
    Steph x

  3. Hi Polly,

    I have reading your blog for a while. And, of course I am praying for you to be successful in this cycle.