Brace yourself for bad news ...

From the delay in posting, I'm sure you figured out that we did not get the great news we had hoped for.

Yesterday's retrieval yielded some bad results. From the many sizable follicles that we had developing, we only retrieved 5 eggs. From those 5, only 1 was mature ... only one is testable.

The doctor and Berilac were so disappointed - and it is disappointing news. Praise the Lord that although sad, I'm not nearly as devistated as I could be. I truly believe that God is in control and He has our best in mind.

Think about it:
-we've gotten pregnant every time we've attempted a natural pregnancy, we got pregnant the one time we attempted a medicated cycle ... history shows that in natural or low dose cycles my body has a 1 egg to 1 follicle track record.
-the hormone that indicates how many eggs I have left in my body is not normal, but it's not dismal either ... it's half way between the two - the way I'm responding to these meds would have you think I have no egg supply left.
-my body produces many follicles on a high dose stim cycle, my E2 levels are perfectly in line
... it wouldn't take a miracle from God to bless these cycles - my body seems to react perfectly right up until we count how many eggs we've retrieved and how many are mature. Perhaps God is closing this door ... or at least shutting it part way for now. We know we're not eager to move forward with the next like cycle.

Berilac and I have felt for quite sometime that this medical protocol for me is too much. That given my track record I shouldn't need to be taking 7 times the amount of drugs as the typical infertility patient. This even poorer showing has convinced us that God is not going to use this route for now.

We are taking a step back from medicated cycles for a time, while we allow my body to heal and to rest.

In the meantime, we'll be perservering and praying for continued soft hearts through this experience. God is doing something in our lives, we don't know what, but we know it's the best ... and so we look forward to that. We praise Him for what He's done in this cycle and what this means for our future.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts". (Isaiah 55: 8,9)

And so we will keep marching forward, knowing that God has the best plan for us - better than we could imagine.

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11)