Wednesday, April 8, 2009

CCRM Cycle #1 - Pregnant until proven otherwise

It was a bit shocking yesterday to learn that we would be doing a day 3 transfer. As a patient that has had 4 miscarriages the thought is that most of my embryos should "look perfect" (or at least be successfully developed!) at day 5 - Dr. Schoolcraft told me in a previous conversation that generally women who have recurrent loss produce many great looking blastocysts - which is misleading - as great looking blastocysts can be normal or abnormal (the thought being that if you are getting pregnant you make blastocysts, but if you are miscarrying those blastocysts are likely chromosomally abnormal - especially in my case) ... but in this cycle, we didn't even make it to blastocyst!

I mean, the fact that I've gotten pregnant so many times, so "easily" indicates that Berilac and I make embryos that make it to day 5 ... so to have only 2 embryos of 7 make it to the 8 cell stage on day 3 is strange. How the heck have we been getting pregnant if 5/7 embryos aren't developing on track? Some might think it's because we must have implanted late in our previous pregnancies but in fact, I've freaked out many a relative when asking them to pray for us when we were "early in our pregnancy" and they would ask "how far along are you?" and I'd respond "3 weeks and 2 days" ... I'm not sure they actually believed me! ;-)

So when the embryologist called yesterday and told me the news, I had one and a half hours to get my stuff together to get down to CCRM for my pre-transfer acupuncture appt. I had to call my husband and my mom. I had to update all you fine ladies. I had to email my support network and ask for prayer. I had to take a rinse-only shower (I guess those embryos don't like my Whole Foods, all natural shampoo as much as I do!) I had to prep my pad for my arrival home - putting important things in reach of the recliner I would soon call home during my 2 day, upcoming, bedrest: remote controls, liquids, numerous pill jars. And when I was done, my dad raced me to the clinic.

We arrived right on time. We took a lovely picture of me in front of the infamous (and likely VERY expensive CCRM lobby waterfall) sporting my must-have IVF occasional t-shirt. I emailed this pic to my husband (surprising him that I even ordered the shirt) and he asked if CCRM created it for us (using our embryos as the pics!!) as a memento or something - too funny! (For anyone who doesn't know - the answer is NO - they barely let you get a glimpse of them before they deliver them to your lady bits - let alone graft a t-shirt for you!)

After taking the umpteenth million blood draw on this trip, we went to the surgery center and waited for someone to call us back. Now, let me tell you, my dad does not look young for his age. I was taking every chance I got to announce that this was MY DAD joining me today (as Berilac had to head back to California on Monday) but I will tell you, I was getting side ways glances from some of the other lobby patients while we waited ... I think the situation was exacerbated because I look like a teenager - it was awesome!

My acupuncturist brought us back and although navigating the gown change out was a bit delicate with my dad in the room, we managed. I relaxed, got stuck like a pin cushion, got a big tasty valium to take the edge off (ok, ok it's purpose was to relax the smooth muscles in my uterus - but I tell you my mind was pretty grateful!). A few nurses popped in and out checking my vitals, taking a peak at how that bladder was filling up - and I am happy to report that I only had to drink 16 ounces of water to make my bladder large enough, I guess my ovaries are still so large that they helped magnify my uterus on ultrasound.

My favorite part was when the embryologist came in and looked at me and said "Polly?" and I said "Yes" (knowing they like to double and triple check that they are putting the right embryos back into the right uteri). He then looked at my dad and said "Berilac?" ... it was TOO funny, dad and I broke out laughing. I told the embryologist that he was my dad and he responded saying - "you'd be surprised, at a place like this we get all kinds!" He confirmed what we had discussed earlier on the phone. He was still reluctant to give us information on the other 7 developing (although not so well) embryos, and this was all the further information that we got:
  • The three embryos transferred did not have any fragmentation removed - there was not enough to warrant it (that's good news).

  • They performed assisted hatching on all three embryos. (They said I was on the cusp in terms of my age and since I had had a failed IVF - they went for it.)

  • Of the 3 that fertilized on day 2, 1 of them had already completely arrested.

  • They will watch the remaining 6 embryos until Friday and evaluate for freeze. (It is my understanding that only 25% of cycles result in embryos that make it to freeze - so sadly, I'm not expecting any.)

Enter Dr. Schoolcraft ... the man, the myth, the legend.

I love building this whole thing up like he's a rockstar or something ... I will say that my dad has a very odd, dry, eccentric sense of humor, so I warned him that Dr. Schoolcraft is not a man you kid around with - thankfully he took my advice and didn't say anything to wig Dr. Schoolcraft out - the last thing I need is an offended doctor threading my cervix and handling my babies! The first thing Dr. Schoolcraft commented on was that we decided not to do the genetic testing and I told him that we opted out of it this time, but if we need to do it in the future - we'd be willing to at his clinic (they have really proven to me that this experience does not have to be as horrible as my last clinic experience - doctors/nurses really ARE competent!) and he broke a little smile at that, knowing I was admitting that I did not trust them earlier when I could have. He asked me if we were ok transferring three embryos and I did NOT delay in saying yes, he then said, "you could have triplets you know" ... pwaaaa haaa haa! (I laugh in the face of triplets!!) I responded asking him the chances and he said less than 5%, I told him I'd be grateful with whatever we get - if we get any babies at all ... (Lord please, please give us children!!!)

Then we started the procedure. The embryologist, Dr. Schoolcraft, and the ultrasound tech all stayed in the room - all concentrating their efforts on my nether regions, while my dad sat by head holding my hand - what a great dad! As the doctor began his descent I reminded him what a horrible transfer experience I had had in January, telling him that my last RE spent 35 minutes trying to just place the catheter and Dr. Schoolcraft's response was "I don't think I could keep my embryologist entertained that long!" ... ha! a joke from the stern faced one himself!! It was great. After that it seemed to go fine. He made mention of understanding why the previous transfer would have been difficult, but I only felt one twinge of pain and after a soft yelp the ultrasound tech said "he just placed the catheter" ... they delivered the little ones and closed up shop.

After it was over Dr. Schoolcraft said it was a great transfer with perfect embryos and he wished me luck.

I of course endured another session of acupuncture and got wheeled out of there. I wore my shirt all around with pride and ALL of the surgery center nurses ooooh'd and ahhh'd over it saying how cute it was and that they'd NEVER seen one like it before! (And the phlebotomist said the SAME thing!!). Now, I've known at least two women who have worn their shirts to CCRM - so there's got to be more ... Brenda, Lisa, how come you didn't sport it in all it's glory? I thought for sure you had??!? ... I'm guessing if any other patients in the lobby saw me in it (which they HAD to have) they likely thought I was just a naive, novice infertile (spreading baby dust!) going in for my first IVF that of course (roll eyes) will work like a charm. I just thought - of all people - those hanging out at the last resort fertility clinic .... are the ones that can appreciate such a shirt!

So there you have it. I'm now lying around incubating a few little babies. Praying that they stick around for the long haul. I've got a uterus full of babies and this was my story of becoming pregnant until proven otherwise.


  1. Congratulations Polly. For the magician behind the curtain, to say that it was a great transfer with perfect embryos is praise indeed. I was laughing reading about your Dad, my DH is 20 years older than me and TBH it looks like there's more of an age gap between us and given we were at CCRM last week, we were definitely some of the all sorts the embryologist was referring to!! Sticky vibes to your embies and congratulations elliej xxx

  2. ellij I hope you read this: I didn't put it in my blog (cuz my dad reads that) but he is in his late 60's and after weathering the storms of life - smoking since he was 12, out in the sun w/o sunscreen his whole life, and being, well ... very bald. He could pass for early 80's.

    And I look eh, 16 ... maybe 18 if I'm lucky ... so I'll have to say a 20 year difference is much better than a 60 year difference!!!!

    GL to you - wish you had a blog I could stalk :-)

  3. Thanks for making me laugh about your dad;-) I needed that.
    PUPO! Tilt that recliner back:-)

  4. Loved your update!

    As far as your embies making blast when you conceive easily on your own, my only theory is that embryos probably develop better in its naturally environment vs a petri dish.

    Happy incubating!!! I hope and pray this is it for you!

  5. Hi Polly - sounds like that was a great day! I really love the way you tell stories!

    Meanwhile, keep being pregnant! Praying for you and the little ones...

    Here's something to entertain you (even for just a minute!):

  6. I'm always so happy to read about happy transfers! I bawled through mine at CCRM and was a wreck. Your t-shirt is adorable!

  7. Your t-shirt is awesome! Where did you get it? I saw Lisa's, but I thought she made it. I had no idea that you can buy it. Otherwise, I would so get one myself. What a great momento item for you to show your child(ren) one day! This was the shirt you wore when you got pg with him/her/them!!

    Have a great time being PUPO!! I have the utmost confidence that you will get your miracle from CCRM! You've got lots of people praying for you!! Rest up because the nausea will set in soon enough. :)

  8. I loved your transfer story. Grow, embies, grow! My your two days of bed rest be relaxing and may you be PUPO for the next 9 months!

  9. Very fun post! You sound great --- and look great too! Hoping your rest goes well and you are waited on hand and foot..and those sweet embies snuggle in tight!

    (I had the same exact mad-dash to the 3 day transfer last time- though I was MUCH more dramatic about it, lol, cried my eyes out b/c I forgot to get from the embryologist on the phone that my other embies hadn't actually died already, as I so quickly surmised! And, I had 2 frosties!).

  10. PUPO!!!! Prayinng for you and your perfect little embies!!

  11. Love the shirt and I am SO happy you are PUPO! Praying for you and all THREE of your embryos.

  12. You crack me up with that's AWESOME!!

    I'm praying those babies stick around for a long 9 months, as well. :)


  13. Oh polly, how exciting! Really great to read this. Praying very sticky prayers for your little embies!

  14. Love the T-shirt. I left u a msg on my blog

  15. This was one of the most entertaining posts I've read in ages! Well written, humorous, and filled with good news. Loved it!

    Congrats on being PUPO. Say hi to the triplets from me. GOOD LUCK, incubator!

    (love the tshirt)

  16. First of all, I want to give your dad a big hug!! And, then I want to give you a big hug!!! I have such hope that we "in the trenches" IF bloggers can become pregnancy bloggers together!!

    Sounds like your experience was great (LOVE the shirt!) and I'm saying many prayers for you!!

  17. I'm praying for you Polly. You deserve this. I'll be thinking of you.

  18. Hello Polly, thank you for your response; I just want you to know that your description was brilliant - full of the joy, humanity, honour and humour which should accompany all of the entries into this world. Lucky babies. Praying for you all, you are in such good hands elliej xxx

  19. Ok, your shirt just ROCKS!!!

    Glad to hear the transfer went smoothly, and there were no cervix issues this time around. (talk about pros!) Were you at all able to get a pic of the embies? I practically had to BEG to be allowed to take one of the screen, they compromised w/ 'no flash'.

    PUPO!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!

    So, I have to ask, when are you going to start POAS?

  20. I LOVE that shirt! (not that I'll be wearing it home from Denver or anything quite that obvious ;)

    Now, how do they do this? Do they have shirts with 1, 2 and 3 embryos and give you the number they transferred or is it just coincidental that it shows 3 and you have 3 in the oven?

  21. I love it!!! The shirt, the story, the babes! PUPO - I am so excited for you! What a snazzy waterfall, btw. Didn't know that CCRM was so fancy.

  22. Great news, Polly!!! Sorry I couldn't get here yesterday and hope you saw my email. (-;

    Now at least a couple of those surgery nurses saw my shirt..... Must have been some different ones.

    I love how happy you sound and I had to smile reading that your dad was there with you.

    I hope your bedrest is going well and you are soon on your way home to Berilac and shortly after a BFP that ends with a baby in your arms.

  23. Hooray for being PUPO, Polly! I'm so happy for you. I hope that the 2ww flies by! I love the tshirt, too -- very cute!

    I hope a BFP is just around the corner for you and Berilac! :)

  24. I love your shirt and I'm cracking up over people thinking your dad & you were 'together"! Anyway, I wish you all the luck in the world! Many prayers that your perfect embies are snuggling in tight!!

  25. Yeahhh! what a great transfer story!!! Rest up and know that I am sending out a big prayer right now for you and you triplets!!!

  26. Yipee! Congrats on being PUPO!

    I'm so glad you had a positive transfer experience - that's so nice that your Dad was able to be there as a support! The shirt is awesome, thanks for posting a pic of it :)

    Saying prayers for you!!!

  27. Wonderful news for you both.. and your three little ones.

    SO glad to hear the transfer went better, everything looks so much more promising for a wonderful outcome. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Tia (from FF)

  28. Wow - you got to meet Dr. Sch (we never have and have been there 3x now!) and he cracked a joke during your transfer?! No doubt a sign of good things to come! I wish you all the best and hope that you get some great news after everything you've been through. GL!

  29. You have me in tears, Polly. I hope that this one is the ticket. You're so positive and uplifting; this one has to work. PUPO. :) Love the shirt, BTW. Sending loads of sticky vibes your way... from me and Baby Boo and Zoie, too.

  30. I'm thankful your transfer was a smooth and quick one!
    The tee is adorable, I might have to make myself one as well for the next time.
    Praying for you and your 3 little Easter eggs Polly!

  31. Love the pic of you in your shirt! How fun. I'm glad you are enjoying yourself even in the midst of this very serious procedure.
    Hope you are doing well and those little babies are making themselves nice and cozy for the long haul.
    Love ya and thinking bout you and praying for you!

  32. Congrats on a great transfer day!! Hang in, Miss P(olly/UPO). You're on your way. Oh, and to the sweet embie-pies: stick, little ones, STICK!

    (So, does your dad read the blog but not the comments? Sounds like he was a great stand-in for Berilac!)

  33. love the shirt! my prayers are with you that everything goes well.

  34. In response to your comment...

    Yes, the poor lady is impossibly inducted to think that something is superbly sad in her divine quotient...

    I am in India....

  35. That is a great shirt. I am new to your blog.Please check out my non profit Parenthood for and my blog.
    We need help spreading the word.

  36. Best of luck Polly! Everything sounds great!

    I actually arrived to CCRM on the 9th, so I missed you by a couple of days (and last time we were cycling together in October '08 too - or was it your one day work-up?)

    Schoolcraft is actually very funny and giggles quite often (and completely unexpectedly:-) but I hope that you would not need another chance to check it.

    Again, BEST of LUCK!

  37. Polly,
    I loved reading your post and am praying for you :) Sending you super sticky thoughts :)

  38. I'm a bit late but I wanted to let you know that I've got my fingers crossed for you too.

  39. I'm rooting for you Polly! Try to rest and get your sleep and let those little babies snuggle in tight. I pray that this is your time and I have a really good feeling!! GOOD LUCK and happy 2ww -- if there is such a thing.

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