Anti-Ovarian Antibodies and me

So, the doctor confirmed it.

This is likely the cause for my elevated FSH levels, my low AMH, my dwindling AFC ... and ultimately the impending early menopause. It comes as little surprise given that my mother experienced sudden-onset early menopause at age 36. But still it was no less enjoyable to hear the words from my doctor, they go like this:

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"Hi Polly, it's Dr. Brockenborings, are you in a place where you can talk?"

for those of you that don't know ... when a doctor takes the time to call your cell phone (rather than sending an email or letting one of his clinical staff reach out) it can't be good ... when he asks you to get some privacy ... he's expecting an emotional breakdown.

"Your Anti-Ovarian Antibodies test results are back and they are positive; the levels are quite severe."

translation? I have antigens in my body that are attacking my ovaries. My body is destroying itself, the reproductive part of myself.

"Women who test positive for this are at an increased risk for developing premature ovarian failure"

AKA: what my mom had, what all my hormone level tests have been pointing to for months, the failure of womanhood, my disappointment with myself as a wife, ... the bane of my existence.

"There is no treatment for this"

Why don't cha just kick a girl while she's down? Now you all see why I had a minor freak out about a year ago when I learned that I had elevated FSH and what that meant. It means that I'm on the road to hot flashes, night sweats, and weight gain ... and I'm on the express train!

***

In our phone conversation, he did indicate that they like to treat the patient rather than the test results - so I guess until my body confirms that I'm in menopause, we are going to keep treating me like I'm not ... that is, except for the highly aggressive fertility treatments ;-) But it looks like hormone replacement therapy will be a topic for my thirties, rather than my fifties. I'll be battling the risks of osteoporosis and heart failure with more vigor than my virile reproductive age counterparts. And the obvious, baby making ... it's now or never.

My endocrinologist told me to schedule a follow-up appointment to discuss this. I guess when you have one autoimmune disease (which I already do, I have Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism) my doctor indicated that you're more prone to developing other autoimmune disorders. So I need to know what to look out for.

I knew this was going to happen. It really didn't surprise me at all. I gotta wonder why I couldn't keep it together for the rest of the afternoon at work? All the signs were pointing in this direction, I guess I was just in denial, hoping that maybe the blood tests (all 4 of them) were just coincidentally off base. I guess not.