Friday, November 7, 2008

AMH ... take 2

It has been hard to concentrate and hard to sleep. I am so used to disappointment that I'm having a hard time believing that a safe high AMH would be possible for me.

Ever since Wednesday afternoon when CCRM confirmed the AMH of 8.5 in every conversation with Berilac, I've been like ... "can you believe it's 8.5, I can't believe it's 8.5!!" (poor guy has to be sick of it). I am in utter disbelief as I've been dealing with a pretty difficult hand for a few years now, and things just seem to be so dark and painful. But this, this would be a miracle and it would be just too good to be true. And when something is too good to be true, it probably is ...

I ordered my shipping kit from CCRM, the kit should arrive tomorrow morning and the CCRM nurse ordered the blood draw. Yesterday, my local clinic reordered the AMH test for me as well. I am just about all set up for two draws on Monday ... sending blood from the same day to two different labs ... wondering how it's all going to turn out.

I would love for this to be real, to not really have DOR. Seriously, how would that be possible?

The thing Berliac keeps saying is that this diagnosis makes sense in a weird way.

1. My AFC and AMH were inconsistent
2. High FSH could be caused by something other than DOR.
3. When I use stimulation drugs I develop 20 follicles ... I have yet to meet another DOR patient who does that! Usually they develop 2-8.
4. When I was cycling in AZ over Christmas last year, I was being monitored by an "outside" doctor, one who didn't see my blood values and when they looked at my ovarian response to stimulation medications they said "well, this is typical for poly cystic ovarian tendencies like you have" ... and at that point I thought I had DOR and was very confused! (poly cystic means that you have too many eggs, not too few!)
5. Early this year I was tested for poly cystic ovarian tendencies because I exhibited that behavior! Turns out I don't have the typical symptoms, except having a lot of follicles on my ovaries during ultrasounds.

This is all so strange.

If I take the AMH re-do on Monday, I will likely get the CCRM results the following Monday, but I won't get the local lab results (which, by the way, is Quest) until the following Monday or later.

I can't believe I'm letting my mind go there ... thinking that premature menopause might not be my gig.

Wow.

... yes people, I am still in awe and unfortunately doubt - only time will tell.

146 comments:

  1. I think the diagnosis makes sense, and I pray that the follow-up tests are conclusive.

    That you're worried about getting attached to the idea of good news is understandable. Your journey has been awfully rough.

    As an outsider, though, I have NO problem going all the way "there" — on your behalf — to embrace thoughts of a more hopeful situation. !!! Hang in.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think your andral follicle count and AMH are consistant, so it seems like the real deal!! I'm so ahppy for you! That's my dream come true!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amazing that it could be real, isn't it? SO glad you're doing the retest!!! *fingers crossed*

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope the follow up tests can give you a clear and positive answer. So much about DOR/POF just don't seem to add up for you. I truly hope this is the real deal!!

    Keep us posted!! I am so freaking excited that you are finding some answers!! Go, Schoolcraft, go!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, I don't blame you for your excitement. I scream in my DH's ears everytime I hear something exciting and I do that for months! LOL.

    So, now can I scream in your ears, WOOOOO-HOOOO!!!! I am really hoping that this is what it is and that Dr Crafy really is doing his magic on you guys.

    Breaking into a rap dance for you,
    GO CRAFTY, GO CRAFTY, GO GO GO CRAFTY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have all the faith in the world in CCRM's numbers - having been a CCRM chick myself.

    I, unfortunately, had a .5 AMH at CCRM (all the other numbers tested great) - I know, dismal. And although we didn't get pregnant, we had a fairly successful cycle out there - 14 eggs, 10 fertilized, 2 perfect day 3 embies, and two frozen blasts waiting for us...and this was our 1st IVF, so they didn't have any background to go by. So if they can make that kind of cycle happen for us with a .5 AMH, think of what they can do for you, even if, heaven forbid, your testing does come back with your original results (which I really hope your 8.5 AMH is true).

    BTW - I showed sister your pic. She flipped. She said "Is that Renee?" (our cousin).

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes. He's a magician. I don't know how, but he is. So glad you did the re-test. I didn't think your AFC/AMH/lots of eggs at retrieval story made sense. Yay for good news!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think the AFC is a very good indicator that your AMH is OK. I have DOR and have never had more than an AFC of 8. In my IVF rounds we've never had a great response - only getting 2 eggs the first time and cancelling the 2nd. I think your early menopause road had just been a bad dream! I'm so happy for you! Maybe you can be my egg donor - hahaha.

    Good luck, lady. I can't wait to hear that the high AMH is confirmed next week!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Polly! Yea for going to CCRM! You will love it! Yes, I transferred 3 embies...we also did micro array.
    Good luck!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. That sounds like positive news to me. I only wish you could get the results sooner.

    As someone diagnosed with DOR, I only got 6 eggs during the first IVF, got converted twice due to poor response, and only 1 egg during our closure cycle. Your results definitely don't match a DOR diagnosis. I so hope your upcoming results confirm that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Polly, I'm the exact same way with this stuff. Always double checking and wanting to redo things and make sure things are right. I'd say if you are really really worried, to redo the test so that you can know for sure.

    But i'm happy that things are looking up!!! Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Polly, I recently stumbled on your blog. We have been ttc since summer '07, and just learned few months ago I have high FSH (11.7), and my husband has less than optimal counts and fragmented DNA in his sperm. The immediate prescription from our RE was IVF with ICSI and TESE.

    My AMH was also tested, and it is in the normal range (3.3; the normal range according to my doc is 0.7 - 3.5). I questioned why abnormal FSH and normal AMH, and two docs I saw did not have a good answer. One doc even said since it's borderline high it's almost in line w/ the FSH numbers. At that time I didn't know which end of the range means poor reserve - if I did I would've called her out then.

    I recently got a call from the nurse saying that my FSH and AMH numbers are similar to a lady she has seen in the past who also had AOA. So I just got my blood drawn last week to get tested for AOA, and still waiting for results.

    I haven't read your blog in detail yet, but from what I understand, we are in similar situation. If my results come back w/ positive AOA, the nurse said that means they will put me on steroids during my IVF cycle which we are planning on doing Jan/Feb.

    This will be my first stimulation, so not quite sure how the ovaries will respond. And given all the issues we both have I am already looking into adoption process - I'm already sick of the medical process - I admire you for sticking w/ it still!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anu, if you read this ... can you please email me at pollygamwich at yahoo dot com? I'd like to keep in touch with you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have no idea how I've missed your posts. We are alike in the reseach. LOL.

    Good luck with your test repeat. I hope this is all really good news. WOW AMH of over 8. That is amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi Polly, i just wanted to write and say I have been thinking and praying for you a lot lately. I know how hard these big decisions can be. Sometimes it helped me to think that I had two really good options on the table and that either one of them was a good choice. I know however that in the end a decision must be made.....and I know it is only you that can make that decision. It is a tough one. For what it is worth, if it were me I think I may lean towards going to CCRM, trying a fresh start with a new doctor and keeping the SIRM eggs for your second attempt. I am not educated enough on the process of vitrification of eggs but what is the success rate of thawing and the success rate of fertilization?

    But you have two great options. You will make the right choice. I don't think you can go wrong with either.
    I continue to follow your posts and to think about you.
    Jill (from Stanford miscarriage group)

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