Friday, November 14, 2008

Ok, so now what?

That's the big question everyone is asking me ...

The way we look at it, we have 5 options:
  1. Cycle at CCRM in December (I got my LH surge, so I fit into the Dec cycle)
  2. Cycle at SIRM in December
  3. Initiate a January FET with SIRM and my 2 normal eggs
  4. Try naturally this cycle
  5. Take a month off and resume efforts in 2009

Ok, let's just quickly scratch off two of those items ...

Trying naturally is out b/c although we would love for this to be our solution, we have two normal eggs on file, why potentially experience another miscarriage when we've got a couple of plump eggs waiting in the wings?

Taking a month off is out for a few reasons ... (although Berilac wouldn't mind this given that he's already busy and yesterday his new company experienced 20% layoffs - thank God he was spared! so now he's going to be even more busy) if we decide to do CCRM in Dec we'll get a tax break because we will have exceeded the 7.5% of our income requirement that's needed to get a medical tax deduction. As well, (now this is going to sound like a "normal, fertile" woman speaking) I'd really like to have a baby in the fall (and not so much in the winter - though I would take whatever I could get) if we troup on to transfer soon, we wouldn't miss the Fall 09 window of opportunity (look at me, being all hopeful that a Fall 09 baby could happen for us!) ... and let's just face it, it was the fact that we waited 5 years into our marriage before we started trying to have a baby that got us into this predicament in the first place! (Any non-infertiles out there reading this ... LADIES, DON'T WAIT TO HAVE BABIES, JUST DON'T DO IT!!!)

So now we are left to decide between cycling at our local SIRM clinic or heading to CCRM. We have been trying to convince our local RE that we want to do a "standard" antagonist protocol and it seemed as if verbally he agreed, so we were gearing up to do that in Dec (given that it's free, we bought it as a part of the fertility preservation package we signed up for in Feb 08) well the other day they sent me the protocol and it's almost exactly like the protocol I did for the two unsuccessful cycles in April and August, a protocol I told him I was certain I would not do again. When I got this jury-rigged protocol I knew that I could not follow through with it and he and I were clearly miscommuncating. So if we are cycling anywhere in Dec, it will be CCRM.

However, then Berilac got it in his head that he might actually believe that we have experienced a miracle from God, and perhaps we do have more time on the biological clock than we thought so rather than assuming we need to do a cycle at CCRM, perhaps we do a fertilization and transfer next?

So a FET protocol takes about 6 weeks. Seemingly, we could skip the CCRM retrieval (and keep that card in our back pocket in case a transfer doesn't work) and head straight into a transfer in January.

So that's where we're at - cycle at CCRM or FET at SIRM.

Out of curiousity ... what you would do?


  1. If it were me, I think I'd do the FET. No dr. would put more than two eggs in you, anyway, but either way, we are here cheering for you:-) If it doesn't work, at least you know your chapter is closed with SIRM.

  2. In total agreement w Hillary - FET at SIRM with CCRM as your backup. Not sure if you already qualify for the tax break without CCRM, but I don't think that is enough of a reason to jump ahead of the 2 healthy eggs you have waiting for you locally. Just my opinion, and you know what that's worth.

    Sending groovy vibes your way that you never need set foot in CO again unless it's for something far more pleasurable than another internal exam.

  3. I always look forward to seeing a post from you. I am on the fence. I was leaning towards cycling at CCRM and getting that BFP! Then... you have the 2 frozen embryos for future babies and won't have to worry about going through this crap ever again. Just a thought since we have already invested time and money into CCRM.

  4. A friend emailed me with her vote, I thought I'd post it:

    First I'd pray, and if I didn't have a leading one way or the other, I'd probably go ahead and do the transfer, because you probably wouldn't want/do/have(?) more than two transfered, right? AND then after that, even if you got one or two sucesses out of this transfer, it seems to me from hearing so many stories, that it somehow kick-starts your body and you could have more naturally if desired...But remember, when you are in prayer, whatever your heart seems to cry out, that gut feeling, that strong desire, usually that may be the Holy Spirit leading...

    Thank you dear friend for playing apart in my journey!!!

  5. In a similar vein as your friend's, I would go with my gut. Meaning YOUR gut, of course. The gut always knows. (At least mine does, and I know that from too much experience going against its wishes.)

    What will it be, what will it be?!

  6. I would go with my gut. Which ever way I really, truly thought was best is what I'd choose. I'd look at it like this - when I go out to dinner, I typically have something in mind fromt he menu that I want. If I something different, I usually end up wishing I'd gotten the first thing I thought about. Stupid analogy - but, it is what it is. If it were me, I think I'd cycle at CCRM - they are the best for a reason and have been so positive thus far. Just my 2 cents. Good luck lady!

  7. If it were me, I'd be stuck. Hmmmm. I know I want more than one child. (am i allowed to want that anymore?). I'd do a fresh cycle since I still have insurance coverage for it and keep my frosties for a second child. However, then again I go for the FET. What if it gave me twins? It's for December. How about a FET now and CCRM backup? Dang this hard. You have to be leaning more one direction than another... did you do a pros/cons list and compare?

  8. I can't give you advice on which to choose except to repeat some other comments and say trust where you feel "led", and I will be praying you hear that voice loud and clear.

  9. Wow....I don't know what I would do. When we have come upon making hard decisions like that, we just pray about it and whichever we have peace about, that's what we do. I'll be praying you guys are able to have peace about one of the options.

    You asked why I'm taking Lupron Depot...I have had severe endometriosis in the past and he's afraid that it has come back, so he wants to do 3 months of the Lupron D to kill any that has come back and then go straight into a fresh cycle. I have been on this before (6 month treatments) and it wasn't fun but worked, so I'm optimistic.

    Good luck on whatever you decide to do, girl!

    I'll be praying...


  10. Darn, this is a hard one!

    If I were you, I would go for the FET and keep CCRM in my back pocket as the back-up. But, that's because I'm impatient, and after all you've been through, I'm sure you're ready to just have a (or a couple) healthy growing embies in your womb. They know that those two are strong, right? Go for it!

    Ok, that said, I selfishly want you to cycle at CCRM so I'd get to see you again and meet Berilac. (Not a good enough reason, I know, but I had to throw it out there.)

    Good luck decision making. In the end, you just have to make the decision that feels right and best for you and your family at this time.

  11. Personally, having never had frozen embryos, the idea of having them is wonderful and I'd go for that and spare my body another stim and ER. But, remember, I'm speaking as someone who's never had that. Good luck whichever way you decide!

  12. I don't really have any advice. All I can say is to go with your gut instinct or to go what you feel could possibly work. But no matter what, I'll be here for you.

    Huge hugs.

  13. Hmmm, tough decision you have there. If it were me, I'd compare the FET stats on both clinics and go with the one that has the higher rate of success. Would it be possible to transfer your frozen eggs to CCRM? I had my 5 frozen blasts transferred to CCRM, so I don't see why they wouldn't be able to take your eggs either. In any case, I wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do. I am going to follow your progress... :)

    Linda (aka Tayloresque on IVF connections)

  14. No question about it -- I would do the FET. I think it would be sort of silly to spend all the money and expensive of travel of going to CCRM when you could possible already have your baby waiting for you!! and I hope and pray that you do! Now that you have time and know you aren't going into menopause, you have some time. So I'd definetly do that FET as soon as possible -- and I PRAY IT's THE ONE!!!! If it's not, you've already got hte 1-day work-up out of the way at CCRM, and can hopefully get right on thier January schedule.
    I guess the only question, is how good are the embryos that you froze? What day? What were thier grades? Do you have confidence in them? they usually only freeze good quality embryos, so I say, go for it! Unless theere is some reason that the embryos aren't good quality -- then I might opt to go straight to CCRM now.


    We all know these discussions well. back and forth we go like yo-yo, weighing all the pros and cons, unil finally, after more talking than any couple should ever have to do on this topic, you'll make the right decision -- because it'll come from your heart.

  15. Thanks for clarifying for me -- sorry I'm a little out of it today :) I didn't realized they were EGGS on ice, not embies. That IS a tougher call, especially because the eggs are more delicate in a lab and it's harder on them during thaw, etc. Plus they still have fertilize and become embryos.

    hmmmm. Much tougher.

    I know I'm the worlds biggest flipflopper, but now I'd almost do teh CCRM cycle instead so they can fertilize your fresh eggs in a fantastic lab!

    Sorry for not having a clear answer, but that really does make the choice so much harder.

    GOOD LUCK. I know after tons of thinking about it and soul searching, you'll come up with the right thing to do! And the good news is you can still always do both -- in either order -- and may only have to do one! So that's good news at least.

  16. Oh! That makes it even MORE complicated! I didn't realize you'd be doing the same thing at CCRM -- biospsing hte eggs and then freezing and fertilizing the normals at a later date. Well. Obviously I'm not a very good reader. But now I've finally got it!! HA!
    Well in that case I'm flopping back again. I would do the FET with SIRM because you have already gotten so far with those eggs. No point in starting over before you know the outcome.

    SO my vote is for FET. But I would also consider the suggestion of sending the eggs to CCRM to have them fertilize them. Only because their lab is said to be the best. And that's what you will need in order to grow the best possible embies you can. I know you want the same person to unvitrify them, who vitrified them though. My guess is though, that CCRM would be more than capable of doing that, especially with any notes passed along to them. But if you are confident in SIRM lab, then save yourself the money of travel and give it a go!

    Jeez. Choices choices.

    They NEVER end, do they?

  17. Wow, Polly, this is a tough one!!

    My gut would be to go to CCRM because I live in a "just in case" OCD kind of world. I would want to know if I could get more eggs from a CCRM protocol. I see more eggs on ice as an end to all the IVF madness. Once you bank enough to make all 5 of the babies you want, then let the FET madness take over. Am I remembering this number right? (;

    I guess my question to ask would be, "If you did the FET and got pregnant with twins, would you be done or would you want to go through IVF again?"

    I honestly don't think you can go wrong with the decision you make. I always find that when I ask for advice and hear what others would do, I already knew what I wanted to do all along. All my best and lots of hugs to you.

  18. Hey, I know this is kinda late and you may have decided already... but I am reading from the oldest to the newest post as a way to catch up :)

    You may know this already but normal eggs do not necessarily mean normal embryos, right? Best case is that all eggs become fertilized and are viable for transfer.

    Knowing the above risk, what I would do is to have the frozen normal eggs be sent to CCRM and fertilize all (2-4 eggs, if possible) at a time.

    PS. DrSh (SIRM) said something like the pregnancy/live birth rate of fertilized frozen eggs goes down to 29% (I guess for my age range?). On the other hand, DrSc (CCRM) did not mention any numbers (but he did mention that there was one request for egg CGH in their clinic - I guess that's you!!!)