Monday, November 17, 2008

Clarification and progress on the decision ...

So I wanted to clarify, because:

... so many people make this common mistake

... and/or I so commonly miscommunicate it

... and/or it's so weird that it's prime target for miscommunication

Currently, I have two normal EGGS vitrified with SIRM. I do not have any embryos (also known as tot-sicles) on ice, none, not one. When we did two retrievals earlier this year, the intention was to retrieve eggs and test them for chromosomal abnormalities. We made this decision because research indicates that >70% of chromosomally abnormal miscarriages are due to EGG aneploidy, rather than sperm issues. And we've had more than our fair share of miscarriages due to chromosomally abnormal babies :-( Also, we decided that the more common ART solution to recurrent miscarriage is EMBRYO testing, but it's not for us because if a clinic does the testing on the EMBRYO and they learn that a baby is Turner's Syndrome or Down's Syndrome (or any other abnormality for that matter) they don't allow you to transfer back these babies, and although I pray that my babies will be healthy, I also could not be ok with a clinic discarding an embryo that's Turner's or Down's. I have friends that are Turner's and Down's and I can't imagine throwing away that life. So my hubby and I will start with chromosomally NORMAL eggs and fertilize them and we will PRAY that those babies turn out ok, good enough for viability, healthy enough to make it not only to live birth but for many, many years to come.

(And Lisa, that clarification wasn't for you ;-) but it was inspired by you ... and many others. Thanks for being apart of my journey!)

Now, regarding what the heck is happening on the decision front ...

DH and I spent the weekend talking about our next steps and thanking God for all He has done in our life and all He will do in our lives. We are so blessed. Although we have not written anything in stone, right now we are getting closer and closer to attempting a conception in January - and we are excited! That is what it seems like now, the landscape may change if we get bad news back from the AMH tests. Thank you for all of your prayers, this is such an important and delicate decision - it is wonderful having your support as we pray through the decision.

And I have loved hearing your thoughts and opinions ... this is such a strange journey, I'm surprised by many of the decisions I'm faced with.

Lastly, I need to apologize that my posts lately are so informative. I wish I had more time and creativity to post more about my feelings and insights - those posts are always so much more funny and interesting! But we are in the throws of making decisions so I guess you'll be happy to take what you can get?


  1. No need to apologize. I always seem to learn something new each time I come here. (;

    I'm so happy you 2 are coming to a decision. It has been a long journey to get here and I pray that your next step brings you the baby of your dreams. Love you, dear friend.

  2. Ah, that does change the landscape somewhat! It is wonderful that you have 2 healthy eggs, but, this is more than a regular FET and I can see why it requires a different thought process. Even though nothing is written in stone, it must feel so much better having at least a tentative decision! I know that helps me!!

    I'm glad we found one another and can share in each other's journey!!

  3. I like the explanations too, but I'm a science nerd like that. ;)

    I haven't commented much but I have been reading. Best of luck in the next step of your journey!

  4. For back up you could pay for CCRM before the end of the year (if you have the $15,000+) and if the FET does not work out (hopefully it does and then you gladly ask for a refund from CCRM!), as long as you start your CCRM cycle early in the year, I think it counts for tax purposes in 2008. It's when you pay for it, not when you do it - though it should be reasonably close. Good luck! I agree with everyone to go with your gut. I'd probably want to see the FET through first.

  5. Wow. I am so glad you made this post. I am really struggling with the discarding of abnormal embryos. I have signed up to participate in this knowing that half if not more of my embryos will be discarded and it makes me sad every day. My husband is very much for it and all of my friends but one tell me that I shouldn't overthink this but it hurts and I am sad and the procedure hasn't started. I think I am already stuck in this way as I've committed to my husband... but I will very very very very very seriously consider the egg testing instead next round, if there is one. I need to make peace with God. I can't thank you enough for posting this. I really am so grateful. Good luck on your AMH test. Big numbers! Big numbers!

  6. No need to apologize! I always feel so much smarter after reading your information. This is a tough decision yall have to make and I am glad you are taking your time to prayer-fully consider every option. Big hugs to ya girl. Thank you for always educating me and for allowing me to be a part of your journey.

  7. I love your explanations. I am just learnign about all the testing, etc. and it is very helpful

  8. We've always had a problem with discarding abnormal embryos (or any embryos for that matter), too. I wish that our issue wasn't with the sperm; otherwise, we'd do what you did (testing the egg). But there is no way to test the sperm BEFORE fertilization. My DH's translocation, if the embryo inherits the unbalanced form, it's not something that is survivable like Downs or something like that. But I do understand where you're coming from in not wanting to discard any embryos. It weighs heavily on our hearts and there is not one day that goes by that we don't think about them. Anyway, I wanted to say is that I really enjoy reading your posts. :) No need to apologize!! :)

  9. How exciting to be considering a January cycle! Good luck making your decisions! I'll be praying for you! I so hope those AMH tests come back great again!!!!!!!!