Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Ahem, ahem ... is this thing on?

Many thanks to Wendy from Our Story: A Blog about Adoption, IVF, and Infertility. I love this girl! She has had to endure so much pain and loss in her continuing battle to have children and yet she still shows up to work everyday and loves on other people's children - she's a teacher! And a great artist, I might add! I have been following her story closely for awhile now and I can say that I am so excited for her most recent step in family building - adoption. She has yet to be shy about the whole process ;-) and she has shared with the infertile community so much wisdom and support - I'm sure that is why she was given this award, and it is with honor that I accept it from her. Big hugs to you Wendy.

So it looks like there is an award going out for those who are speaking out and speaking up about infertility and I am truly honored to receive the award. I really feel like going through this struggle is an opportunity to be purposeful in pain, bringing this battle to the light - so I was excited to be recognized in something I have been trying so diligently to accomplish.

My family, my friends, most of my colleagues, my church, my neighbors, and even my dog has heard some truth about infertility from these lips (and from these finger tips!) I am adamant about getting the word out that infertility happens and it is painful; it shouldn't be taboo nor should the fertile continue to think that they "know best" when it comes to resolving infertility - no, relaxing will not cure menopause - yeah, hey it's a good idea, but it's been tried already, what else have you got? I risk my heart and my emotions as I wait to hear what someone might say in response to my telling them the truth of our situation ... in an effort to pave if even just a pothole on the road for many of the infertiles who will follow in our footsteps. (Sadly, there will be more).

I think the one thing that scares me, is so heavily identifying with being an infertile that I forget how to be normal. Seriously, I have gotten into character, I'm poised and ready to pounce at any insensitive movie line and I'd love to put one of those stick figure families on the back window of my SUV that depicts me, my husband, and our little dog all lined up in a row ... and in place of the typical title "Mommy's Taxi" I simply want to say "Infertility hurts" ... but DH isn't willing (who knows why??). So I think of that day, someway, someday ... when I will have children on earth to hold and I'm hoping that I can shake a lot of the bitterness and triggers and just enjoy my life once again. I may recover from being an "infertile" but I will never stop standing up for them. To me, that's why I got the award - I'm one sicko die hard.

On that note, I am proud to nominate my own crew of proud infertiles, regardless of whether or not they share this information in person or on their blog ... these ladies speak up and speak out:

Elmojessi at One Small Wish

Much love ladies and keep on sharing!!

9 comments:

  1. Hi Polly, I just wanted to say a big thankyou for speaking out so bravely about your struggles. I have been following your journey for the past few months and have been inspired by your honest sharing and strong faith.

    You are in my prayers :-)

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  2. Thanks for the award Polly! I love your 'dating' analog for chosing a donor! I'm ready to date but none of them call me back :) Did I miss your second AMH results? I hope they were as good as the last ones!

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  3. I hear you! Sometimes, in shouting it from the rooftops, I wonder if people overly-associate me with infertility.

    My best friend told me one day that what bothers her about my blog is that all of the people who read it don't know that there is so much more to me than what they read about me and my struggle. Of course, lol, I was in a frame of mind where I countered back "there is nothing else about me", but, what I really meant is that my infertility is interwoven into the fabric of what makes me me!

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  4. I had a talk with babes yesterday. He said that I'm constantly unhappy beccause people seem to say things to upset me cuz they don't understand about infertility. I don't really expect them to understand. I just want a listening ear, you know? Then, he told me to let go my IF emotions. Because sooner or later, people will think we're just too obsessed with IF and that nobody really cares about it unless they've gone through it themselves.

    Will I forget about being the world of IF? I don't think I ever will. EVER.

    Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I'm ranting about me me me me ME.

    I just wanna say that I understand where you're coming from and that I'm here for you.

    ((((big hugs)))

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  5. Polly,

    Thanks for the award! I love reading your blog and knowing that you are doing your best to educate people about our struggles so that they may be able to understand a small bit of what we go through.

    Jess

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  6. Hey Polly! Thanks for nominating me! I actually think I nominated you, too, but I didn't follow up. Nice...I haven't been keeping up with my blogging lately - but I promise to do better!

    Hugs!
    Tara

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  7. You are one of our true advocates, Polly!! You not only share your story, but you educate everyone around you. Not many women I know would be willing to be interviewed for the news to share their IF story!!

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  8. I totally understand what you mean! But, as Brenda already said, you really are our voice for goodness sakes-you've been on the news! Thanks for being such a great voice at that.

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