When you don't know what to say - for the love of God just SHUT UP!

Don't you hate when you say something and as soon as it comes out of your mouth you're thinking "why God? why did I say that?" and then you walk away from the conversation kicking yourself and you spend the next day, week, month, year (yes, it's been bad enough it's lastest more than a year) verbally abusing yourself!

So last night Berilac and I were SO EXCITEd to finally find a matching sleeper love seat to our already acquired Ikea couch ... we had been looking on Craigslist for a couple of months. Sunday afternoon I found a new post offering the love seat and we jumped at the chance. We headed out that night to check out the couch and make a down payment on it for a future pick up (we pick it up tomorrow night).

So as we walk up this very nice woman in her late twenties/early thirties greets us and is somewhat quiet and reserved.

Here's how the conversation goes: (and no, I'm not kidding)

Her: So, would you guys like to buy it?
Me: Everything looks good. Now I know in my email I mentioned that we'd pay the entire amount and pick it up on Tuesday, but honestly we don't know you and we'd hate to pay the entire amount without having anything to take home, I was thinking we could pay half? (no, this is not where I was kicking myself - I'm just this direct with my thoughts)
Her: Yeah, that's fine.
Me: Ok, so here's $20, $40, ...
Her: So can you hold on while I go get my counterfeit marker - cuz I don't know you guys at all. *wink*
Me: ha, ha, that's so funny. No, seriously, you never know ... did you hear about what happened to one lady doing a Craigslist transaction?
Her: No, what?
Me: This lady went to go pick up her item - as most Craig'slisters do
Her: Uh-huh
Me: and the lady got shot and killed by a teenager b/c the teenager thought it would be funny to kill someone.
Her:
Me: ... Can you believe that? Crazy, huh? (it was at this point that I had realized the woman felt fearful for her life and I was the threat [no matter how unintimidating I seem] and I was trying to lasso back in the words I had already let escape)

When we were done w/our ever so stimulating conversation she HIGH TAILED it outta there. (big surprise) DH and I got back into the car and he was like "that was a great story honey" *huge smirk turning into a laugh growing over his face*

... but the worst part is that she has to see us again tomorrow night and we'll be driving a big, creepy van to carry the couch home in ... poor lady.

Because I'm horrible at tact, I was actually contemplating bringing it up again when I see her (to rectify the situation!!) but Berilac was like "I think you've done enough"

... he's not even letting me go back to her house.

Note to self: Not every comment needs a "witty" rebuttal.