I got married six years ago, and the entire time - man, I tell you - I've been struggling with this. Everytime it's meal time or if there's a vacation on the horizon that needs planning or WHATEVER?!! I always need to communicate my needs/preferences about the topic and make sure my needs are met. I can't just keep my trap shut and assume that other people are involved and the world doesn't revolve around me. "Woe is me"
This whole infertility struggle has got me questioning how well I'm doing in this department. Yes, I know this is a deep and painful struggle, but do I have to suffer so poorly?
This past Friday night, Berilac and I went out on a double date with a mature older couple from our church and during that time they really encouraged us and comforted us in our recent struggles, but an ah-ha moment that came out of it for me was when the wife described a new perspective on how to look at the Bible (and in a more applicable fashion - how you can expand this example to apply to your life) so she said "did you ever think of the Bible as a picture of what God does in the lives of His people (as in, He's working through all of their choices and circumstances) rather than a story about a bunch of different people?" I'd never thought of it that way. If you look at it like that you see much more clearly that it's not about Moses, Abraham, Noah, Isaiah, David, you get the idea ... it's really all about what He's doing in all of their lives - it's all about Him and not really about us ... if you can make that leap - you can also understand that this life is not about YOU.
And these losses ... they are not about us. We didn't do or not do anything to cause them. It hasn't been a twisted form of punishment. There's not something I could have done. God is not withholding blessing from me. It's not about doing enough "good things" to finally earn a child. It's not about doing XYZ in order to deserve a child. And I know that's true because you know what? it's not about me.