... now is that one word or two?
Back fat ... seriously, a majorly dreaded female reality ... unless of course you're really thin.
Now, I myself am on the border between thin and normal, but these days, I know back fat.
When I got pregnant the first time, I was at my all time high in terms of weight. That was the pregnancy that lasted the longest - so maybe there's something to be said for that. In April my company had a health faire where they measured (among other things) your percentage of body fat ... and the guy told me I was on the border between thin and normal and I could stand to gain a few pounds. A couple of egg retrievals later and I'm no longer on the border of being too thin - heck no, not with the back fat I'm sporting!!
Since April, I know that I had been gaining weight, the scale doesn't lie. And I know that IVF cycles will essentially shove your body into early menopause (thus bringing your metabolism to a shrieking halt!) but it has been awhile (well before the holidays) that I braved a scale ... so I wasn't entirely sure how much I'd gained.
But the other day, when I was slothfully laying around in my pj's, during my ample time off from work, I rolled over on the couch and noticed that something was still lodged underneath me, and that something ... was ME! In the form of a roll of my back fat.
It was frightening.
Since then I've been checking the neck roll. You see, last time I was heavier (really, I'm not heavy, I'm just heavier than I'm used to being) I earned this roll at the back of my neck, when I would tilt my head back in the shower to wash or rinse my hair, I would feel a roll on my neck, that, when properly manuvered would pop!! And turn from being a roll high up on my neck - to one lower down. If this doesn't make any sense to you ... then thank your lucky stars! And just forget I mentioned it ... if it does, know that I've been on the prowl for the neck roll for awhile now too.
And with the holidays and lots of yummy foods, combined with weeks of birth control pills, delestrogen IM's, lupron shots and specific instructions NOT to diet while on this cycle ... combined with TWO WEEKS off of work and minimal amount of effort to get off the couch (ok, except to rent more movies) ... I was so afraid to head to the gym this morning and get on that scale.
But the back fat under my all too tight bra inspired me.
I was surprised to see that I'm not even close to my all time weight high ... and instead I haven't gained but 1 pound since October ... a Christmas miracle ... but I am still a bit afraid of turning around in the mirror or adjusting my too tight bra (for fear I feel the roll with my own two fingers - heck, I'd rather live in denial!) and so I pray that this transfer works and I can just glide into "gaining weight for the baby" without having to worry about needing to get a new bra because of my fat from lack of bodily care, rather than pregnancy ... otherwise, you can bet I'm jumping back into my old workout and diet routine to drop 10 lbs quick style if this cycle fails. If I can't be successfully pregnant, at least I'll be hot.
Yes, it's good to know where my priorities lie.
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The only back-fat you have is the good kind; the kind that warrants a playful swat now and again.
ReplyDelete"Baby's got back!"
Polly, u're lookin' HAWWWWWTTTTT!!! HAWWWWTTTT!!! HAWWWWTTTTTT!!! :)
ReplyDeleteNow, I'm looking at your tickers and I am getting very excited for you. I'll be going to the city tomorrow and will pop by church to light a candle for you and Berilac.
To Berilac, you had me laughing. My husband always sings this to me too: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE... :)
lol.
Oh the back fat - I don't have the neck roll (at least not that I've noticed) but I definitely have "handfuls" of lard and fat on my back around the ribs. I've given up fretting over it (for now)!
ReplyDeleteLoved Berilac's comment! My DH always says I should focus on putting ON 30 more lbs, and not worry about size and shape right now.
Ugh - I soooo know what you mean. I am currently at my all time high weight. I am totally on the diet and exercise bandwagon...trying to lose a few lbs before IVF begins later this month. If nothing else, just to make myself feel better.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally hot no matter what :)
Back fat, neck fat, chin fat, boob fat, thigh fat.... baby fat - bring it on Polly!!!!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I remember your TV special from last year, and yes, you are hot!
I know these two words, so very well. I look back at pics of myself (pre-fertility treatments) and wish I were at that same weight now. I need to lose 20 lbs! Ugh. With every medication and each cycle, I consistantly gain weight and all they have to say to me is, "it's normal - that's a side effect." Thanks, thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteYou look great, by the way.
OMG, your hubby is hilarious! Back fat is a pet peeve of mine as well.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is so funny!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I just noticed your tickers, too -- good luck!!!! Not too far away now.
Okay, coming from someone who has met you, I find this very hard to believe!! You're already hot, girl!
ReplyDeleteIn my best M voice, "Ummm, it's called skin. Everybody has it." (-;
LOL!! This is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI did the 'if i'm not going to be pregnant, at least I'm going to be thin' thing, and I found it strangely satisfying! it's good to know how shallow you really are, I think :) I mainly did it because I was collecting fat around my tummy, of all places, and I was getting some of those sideways 'is she or isn't she?' looks, which just drove me crazy. Now I have hipbones again, I don't get those looks. I'm sure being pregnant is more fun than being thin but hey, I'll take what I can get!!!
I think you're seeing things;-) It's me that has to deal with it;-)
ReplyDeleteI think this is way too much time spent worrying about superficial things that media tells us to worry about! Be happy with your beautiful self and prepare to be fruitful!
ReplyDelete